Tag: China

A Totally Impractical Guide to an Out of Body Weekend in Jǐnán
March 27, 2013

A Totally Impractical Guide to an Out of Body Weekend in Jǐnán

  After a few months’ hiatus from my ongoing whirlwind Tour de Chine (the Academic Route), I’m back on the road, hopping trains like a nerdy hobo and wearing butt-shaped grooves into creaky university chairs all over this fine nation. This past weekend, I went …

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I’ll See Myself Out: Attempting Shanghai Nightlife (for Burnt Out Recluses)
March 19, 2013

I’ll See Myself Out: Attempting Shanghai Nightlife (for Burnt Out Recluses)

So I’m leaving Shanghai. Sometime in June, I’ll be handing in my Foreign Expert’s Certificate (actually a booklet, just to muddle matters) and sorting through my accumulated detritus to ship things home or to redistribute them amongst the neighbourhood rag-and-bone dudes. [Random note: Modern day …

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Radio Silence: How to Write Publicly When All of Your Journeys are Private
March 9, 2013

Radio Silence: How to Write Publicly When All of Your Journeys are Private

I’m a surprisingly private person. I’ve only started realizing that recently. This may come as news to you, given that I’m blurting this out in a decidedly public medium and have blurted out all sorts of revealing bits and pieces about myself over the past …

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Notes on Getting the Hell Out of Dodge: Oh, Hey, Bali! Nice to See You Again!
January 27, 2013

Notes on Getting the Hell Out of Dodge: Oh, Hey, Bali! Nice to See You Again!

On the morning we left Shanghai for Bali, I was sitting on my bed sometime around 8am, huddled under a few layers of duvets, toes numb, feeling  quite out of sorts. I was barely recovered from a four day tummy bug in which I failed …

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It’s Beginning to Look Not Even Remotely Like Christmas: Faking Festiveness in Shanghai
December 25, 2012

It’s Beginning to Look Not Even Remotely Like Christmas: Faking Festiveness in Shanghai

Actually I lie. I live in Shanghai (which, if you ask the Shanghairen, is barely even China but rather its own magnificent autonomous kingdom of wealth and awesomeness) and oh, the shiny accoutrements of the festive season are out in a big way. Have you …

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A Totally Impractical Guide to a Sudden Jaunt to Liuzhou, Guangxi
December 17, 2012

A Totally Impractical Guide to a Sudden Jaunt to Liuzhou, Guangxi

Over the past decade or two, I’ve become quite adept at rolling with the punches. Most of my jobs have called for finely tuned improvisational skills and I’ve had plenty of opportunities to hone them. The other night, I dreamed that I was told I …

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Notes on Not Running Away Again: Dealing Sensibly With a Shanghai Winter
November 30, 2012

Notes on Not Running Away Again: Dealing Sensibly With a Shanghai Winter

It was some time midway through my London years that I found myself huddled in a phone box outside the Lords Cricket Grounds, surrounded on three sides by layers of postcards of hot, horny, available women who wanted to do dirty things to me. It …

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You look very terrible, Miss Mary: Unsolicited Advice for the Laowai
November 19, 2012

You look very terrible, Miss Mary: Unsolicited Advice for the Laowai

I’m still sick. Not sick like last week when I was horizontal and feverish, with my nasal cavity draining like Victoria Falls. No, this week I’m exhausted from working all weekend, sleeping terribly, and breathing in the disconcertingly opaque and smokey air all morning. According …

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Managing Your Plague in China: Brief Notes on my Stupid Cold
November 15, 2012

Managing Your Plague in China: Brief Notes on my Stupid Cold

So I finally made it in to work today, after two days spent under cover, barking my lungs out at home, destroying entire forests with my nasal detritus. I packed a little baggie with 2 boiled eggs and 2 small oranges (plus a massive coffee) …

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Dear Language, I Guess I’m Just Not That Into You: Notes on Being the Worst Student Ever
November 12, 2012

Dear Language, I Guess I’m Just Not That Into You: Notes on Being the Worst Student Ever

I’ve got a cold and I’m cranky. With my hot, cotton-wool stuffed head expanding outward through my eye sockets and nasal cavity, and my sad little lips fever burnt and ever so slightly frowny, I’m coasting on barely 3 hours of restless sleep. I thought …

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The Grass is Always Less Hazardous on the Other Side: I’m Cheating on China in my Head Again
October 29, 2012

The Grass is Always Less Hazardous on the Other Side: I’m Cheating on China in my Head Again

For the second Monday in a row, Shanghai’s air has been deemed unfit for human consumption.   Yesterday was declared hazardous, but I was in Nanjing, breathing in their particular combination of hazy chemicals.  Maybe it was the kids I was testing, or maybe it …

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Shanghai is trying to kill me: The self-care edition
October 24, 2012

Shanghai is trying to kill me: The self-care edition

About 5 years ago, during my last year in Istanbul, I was living in a lovely old flat in Osmanbey, a neighbourhood at that time populated by old man bars, Armenians, artsy types who couldn’t afford to live in Beyoglu, and very small scale industry. …

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