Chinese University Students on Love, Lust, Dating and Marriage

ETA December 14: Now with more love, lust and dating! Added quotes!

Part 1 in the series (Helpful Household Hints) was here

I originally typed this up sometime last week, back when I still had the energy and wasn’t consumed by a great big ol’ ball of sickiness. I’m currently consumed in a non-tubercular way by a deeply unpleasant cold (again) and by the cumulative exhaustion brought about by too much work. Yes, I did speaking tests all weekend. Yes, I nearly lost my voice again. Yes, I am still questioning my lifestyle choices.

Here are a few random photos from this weekend.

Industrialized Self-Service Hot Water for my bottomless mint tea

A rainy Sunday morning out in the wilds of Songjiang University Town, on campus, cold

In spite of me feeling like crap, lunch was very good out there

Luckily I didn't fall into any deep water and catch my death of cold

Rather than moan about how tired I am (I am!) or how I wish I could have slept all weekend instead of croaking out interviews with several dozen people (with intermittent coughing and sneezing), I’m going to present you with part 2 in my series on advice, tips, ideas and opinions from my students.  This week, they’re going to talk about love. Yes. And they have many thoughts on the matter.

Talk amongst yourselves, whilst I go have a nap, kids!

My students (who are awesome) had grappled at length with the abstract concepts of Love and Like and Lust and whatnot and had emerged victorious, with many things to say. I wish I had a photo of the board work from that day.

I’ll give you a photo from a similar class I had here in Shanghai a few years ago, in my first job.

Do what the Vocab says

So, without further ado, here is some food for thought and a brief foray into the minds of a few random 19 year old urban middle-class Chinese kids:

When we children, we do not have the ability to know what is ‘love’, maybe we do not know now either. However, it is undeniable that we have the lust… “Love” in the schools is an irresistible trend. Throughout love, we can exchange ideas, emotions and information. e can be benefited both physically and mentally, thus improving the study.  As the saying goes, ‘love is like a butterfly. It goes where it pleases and it pleases where it goes.’ All of us have the wonderful imagination about love. At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. On the whole, it is high time that we recognized the significance of love. It makes us mature and do not be afraid of the hurt during the love. Received the injury better and can grow up. No cross, no crown.  D.L.

Don’t promise somebody and don’t fall in love with some people before you graduate, even if you love he/she very deeply. Because you can’t give they anything until you find a job. Money was not base on love but if you don’t have enough money you cannot do anything for your love. It is so terrible. Jeff

Love is a thing between two lovers but marriage is a thing between two families. To live together is a good way which two lovers know each other and communicate with each other. It is terrible that couple find they aren’t appropriate after they got married even had a child. It is needed to know each other clearly before marriage and living together before marriage is okay. Vienna

Driven by the uncontrolled emotions, the university colleges increasingly tried to find a partner who they desired for during university time. However, it’s a not  correct idea for most students. First of all, the university colleages are too young to solve the contradiction. Since they grow up with the parents’  love, they always thought they were right and should be protected. Owing to this idea, they often had words with the partners. Only when they get elder and know how to respect and understand each other will they have abilities to creat a happier atmosphere among them. Tony

In 21 Century the more people are work hard in office. They are work in any time so have lead to many people haven’t time to do otherthings like dating. I think freedom of marriage is important but the marriage introduction service is fashion in 21 Century. Many unmarried person are find they lifelong companion. Many happiness lovers from there then they living in happiness life. I think arranged marriage ever is not bad idea! Xu Dan

Today we are university students. we are adults and we have our own mind. Factly, most of us are Only one child of one couple. we often feel lonely and have to stay alone at home or in the school. because our parents are very busy with working all day. They don’t have much time to talk to us so we can’t find someone to talk about our mind. Even though most elder adults think we shouldn’t be fall in love with a girl or boy before we work, but nowadays, a lot of teenagers make friends with they like early. They kiss, embrace, pull hands, even take place sexual intercourse. But why they like to do this. They just want to find a someone to fall back on. They need someone to talk to when they feel lonely… I haven’t falled in love with someone. I am just unrequited love.  Romance

When the people 12 years old, the hormones can more secretion. No matter boys or girls begin to fantasies that find own True Love and want to possess partner so the school appears lots of lovers. “Love is blind” … Everything both two sides.  Lots of students indulge self. They give up own study. To drink, to smoking, even lots of lover commit suicide because love. In China, If you haven’t a good job the partner’s family don’t agree with get married. Alvin

Perhaps we have a curious about romantic relationship during adolescent. But please put this curious after finish school will be fine. Study is important during study time. We should study well. After we finish school and get a good job. To find a partner is not later by that time. The romantic love is always established on the money. When we have money, we can buy the rose to lover . When we have house, we can get married. When we have car, we may pick up the lover and work. But we should think about a sentence. Henri Frederic Amie said ‘ Love is faith, and one faith leads to another’. Cathy

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About MaryAnne

I live in Shanghai. I tend to travel. I cook stuff. I read a lot. I try to scare myself silly with regularity. I write about it all. A lot.