What The Hell Am I Doing Here: Notes on End of Year Work Festivities in Shanghai
It’s Saturday and I’m at work. I’ve been here since, oh, 8 o’clock this morning and at the rate things are piling up, I doubt I’ll ever leave. Teaching on Saturdays is a new thing, something that was explicitly written into my contract as something that just wouldn’t be done. Not that contracts mean much. Everything is malleable. I’ve learned that over the years.
But then there was that kerfuffle with some islands. Not the kerfuffle that left racist signs and defaced Japanese flags all over the city, no. That was the other set of islands. This time there was a kerfuffle over some islands claimed by both the Philippines and by China and suddenly all pinoys were being denied work visas and abruptly booted out.
With 2 days’ notice, my lovely and overqualified but definitely Filipina assistant was gone and I was alone again. Saturday classes it shall be then. Temporarily I hoped, though I have learned to never get my hopes up in this business.
When I came in early this morning, still exhausted from a week of sore throat and heavy lungs and terrible sleep, I learned that there would be a New Years party in the school in the afternoon. I learned also that they expected me to sing.
Yeah, right.
Aside from the throat and lung issues, I don’t sing. I just don’t. I’ll bite your hand clear through before you drag me up onto that stage to belt out something cheesy that I’ve had no time to even prepare for.
You wouldn’t want to hear me anyway.
Aside from the fact that I already had afternoon and evening plans and wasn’t even supposed to be at work on a Saturday, I accepted that I had to stay for the party. I was certain that my white face needed to be present, my laowai voice needed to be heard, even if no one was listening. Not because I had anything to say but, well, for saving face and developing guanxi with the right people. It’s a process. There are roles to play, obligations to fulfill.
Then I was informed that it was to be a banquet. At a fancy hotel. A banquet! The kind that goes on until the wee hours, with forced toasts of scary booze with your hand held at specific heights so as to not offend, and all sorts of dishes that make me cry inside (hello shark fin soup! hello bear paw!). The banquet wouldn’t even start until evening.
I’m in my cold office now, with the view through the chicken wire grille of the grey and rainy parking lot, still bundled in coat and sweater and scarves, even though the wall heater is in theory on. A five hour wait, with fully restricted internet. No colleagues. No coffee. Numb fingers as I type. I have my giant cat mug full of hot water because it’s the only thing keeping me from turning into an ice cube. Someone down the hall is playing an endless loop of the same song on piano, over and over for hours now. Kids are running up and down the hall, shouting.
I swear, the universe is trying to make me stronger but I don’t know why it’s choosing this route.
Anybody feel like cheering me up? Please?
Epilogue
8:24pm: I stayed at work until nearly 6pm, snow falling heavily, and there was no sign of the car to take me to the elusive banquet that should have started at 5. Inexplicably, when 2 of my 3 directors showed up (the 3rd is in the US right now), suddenly sympathy was evident. My previous dinner plans were suddenly not brushed away. Suddenly my presence at the banquet was non-essential. Six hours of waiting in my freezing office and now I was being driven to the nearest metro station to go home.
Yes.
So after an hour in the metro, coming in from the suburbs, then a 20 minute walk in the freezing snow wearing a coat with a broken zipper, I got to keep my dinner plans. Slightly belated, but there was tzatziki and dolmades and wine. The waitress handed me a stack of napkins to dry off with.
Now I’m at home, thawing with hot Earl Grey tea and cookies. I’m not emerging til Monday. I swear.
Shame, that sounds like a pretty dismal situation. Although par for the course as far as communication and forewarning goes in China. Why not have a look at what I’ve spent the last few days doing here in Cape Town, which may cheer you up or just depress you further.
http://roryinsouthafrica.wordpress.com/2012/12/27/lions-head-by-the-light-of-the-moon/
Rory Alexander recently posted..Table Mountain in the moonlight
I wish I could but WordPress is blocked here! The firewall is killing me! If I’d known I’d be killing 6 hours in my frozen office, I would have brought my laptop from home which at least has a VPN. My work one is super firewalled.
PS I love Cape Town! I lived there in 1999-2000. I even climbed Table Mountain twice (didn’t take the cable car at all).
Ah no, that sucks even more. I remember getting so frustrated with the firewall. Well at least you have something to look forward to when you get home to your laptop. If you love Cape Town and climbed Table Mountain then I’m sure you’ll enjoy the blog post.
Hope your day improves 🙂
Rory Alexander recently posted..Table Mountain in the moonlight
Thanks! Time for more hot water and a search for something to read that isn’t blocked!
Okay, here’s something that might or might not cheer you up. Your blogs always make me feel better.
I just spent the day shopping for a coat that fits me (not going to happen here in Sichuan Province.) Yeah, I brought my good wool coat, sent it to the cleaner’s and it came back small enough to maybe fit a Barbie doll. I thought I clearly said that it had to be dry cleaned only, but then my Chinglish is not so good. So, coat shopping, with all the pretty coats that just won’t fit this American waijiao. I’m maybe a size 12 at home, but here I felt like Alice growing through the roof… Wearing my husband’s jacket while my only other one is taking probably at least 3 days to dry. Cheers, or should I say Ganbei. You’re blogs keep me sane.
As a fellow size 12, I hear you. My handmade coat from my old Turkish tailor finally gave up the ghost and will not close. The timing couldn’t be worse. I know I should go out to buy a new one but it’s so not simple. My hip-waist-shoulder ratio is unheard of in this country (wide, thin, thin), not to mention my absurdly long torso and arms. I’m still just written off as gargantuan by shopkeepers, even though my proportions aren’t actually bad.
Doug offered me his big overcoat but the shoulders make me look like a linebacker.
Am glad I cheer you up with my blogs. Your story cheered me up somewhat, knowing I’m not the only one dealing with this.
Happy holidays! 🙂 Not sure if these 2 tidbits will help you, but here you go: a.) In Turkey, it’s nearly impossible to find size 40+ shoes for women. I basically get shown the men’s section or told there is nothing. That’s a normal size in the U.S.!
b.) I’ve been dealing with a stomach bug since Christmas Eve…my husband went to pharmacy for me and explained in his Turklish what was wrong with his wife. I’m not drinking an awful concoction of some kind of good bacteria for my stomach. Fun! Here’s to a healthier new year!
Joy @My Turkish Joys recently posted..A Successful Turklish Feast of 7 Fishes in Istanbul
As a fellow size 40+ (I’m a 40-41), I totally understand! Have you been to any of the shoemakers yet? I used to get the most adorable MaryJanes made for me by an old man in an atolye across from the Otantik restaurant in the pedestrian bit of Kadikoy, near the fish street. I even had a lovely purple pair, decorated with a pretty little yellow leather daisy on the buckle!
Also, oh, I feel you on the tummy bug! I’ve been some sort of sick (mutating…) for weeks now. My throat and lung unpleasantness is now a tummy bug (how can one lead to the other?) so I’m staying in bed today! No more freezing offices!
Indeed, here’s to a healthy, well-shod new year!
Oh no. I was with you as you wrote: waiting, shivering in the grey afternoon. The beat of your writing was exquisite.
About the time you were waiting, I was sleeping with the flu at a school desk. I’m filling in for a friend at a school (in between doing online work in the fall and teaching art in January) and am teaching in a remote part of town. Pay’s not great, and the commute is 1.5 hours each way. Also the schedule has long lunches. Today’s was 5 hours! Today I was away from home for 14 hours and worked a total of….4 paid hours!
Glad you finally got out of the obligatory banquet, and continued on to your own plans! (Also, maybe some lines need to be drawn with the boss asap? Particularly when you’re coving for someone else…)
Ebriel recently posted..Paintbrushes and Poison
Are we all just sick and burnt out? I’m so sensing a trend! I totally feel for you. I had spent Friday in my office too, killing time (only made the hike out there to plan Saturday’s cover class and to ask upper management what was up– and no one mentioned the following day’s banquet plans…), feeling totally wiped out from throat and lung issues. I think at one point I may have actually folded up my arms and slept at my desk, my puffy tiger mittens used as pillows. Since I’m the only person in the English department these days, it’s pretty lonely and most of my work can be done from home– which is a good thing as it’s an hour by car or 90+ minutes by metro and foot.
So relieved to have been excused from the banquet. i think they finally relented because I’m fairly certain that by 5pm I looked like I was about to burst into tears at any moment. Not cool for a manager in China. Maybe they were trying to discreetly save my face?
And thank you for noting the rhythm. It’s tricky to not sound like a flat rant.
Oy! Life is really too short for misery. I hope the light on your path gets brighter soon.
You’re very right! It’s something I’ve really been struggling with this season.
Hey, I’m sorry about your shitty weekend! But it’s over now…. or almost.
Ah but it just got better! It’s now Monday and I have a horrific cold! At least I’m not at work… 😉
Boo to your employers! It’s NYE here and I’ve been told at extremely short notice – i.e. a few hours ago – that I have to stay late to help with a stupid board change. Why don’t (mostly Asian…) employers get that their employees have, you know, LIVES outside of their work? AGGGGGGGGH!
Tom @ Waegook Tom recently posted..The Double Whammy Review!
Wow, lady! I hope you thaw out soon. Feel better soon. Being sick is one thing. Being sick IN CHINA is a totally different experience.
Pam recently posted..10 New Years Resolutions I’ll BREAK in 2013
Yeah, this cold is driving me nuts. It just keeps reappearing and mutating. Luckily I still have some cold and cough meds from my school (I can’t read enough Chinese to choose the right ones so they went out and bought me some a few months ago). It’s tiring though, and it’s freezing these days! A friend returning from BC just texted me to say that 5 degrees in Victoria is so much warmer than 5 degrees in Shanghai. I believe it.
What is it about the neverending Chinese cold? Last year I had one for nearly three months. It was a constant low-grade infection that would reappear again and again, until I kicked it with two doses of antibiotics. My immune system had gotten so suppressed that I got food poisoning in Paris from a sandwich (?!)
This year I’d managed to fend off a cold till last week, and I expect it’s here to stay till the spring.
But nowhere is forever 😉
Ebriel recently posted..Paintbrushes and Poison
My cold never seems to ever go away, it just goes from low grade background noise (like today, my lungs are a little heavy and I bark occasionally) to hard core misery (bronchitis, brutal head cold, whatever) and back again, cycling endlessly. Hoping 3 weeks in Bali will help. Will be mainlining enough soto ayam to cure the common cold…