Kandy: Whoa, I Think I May Have Entered a Parallel Universe By Mistake
I was going to title this post Kandy Says, but I doubt anyone would get (or favourably appreciate) the Velvet Underground reference. But you know what? I have no clue what Kandy is saying. Seriously. This town is a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a really awesome fresh chapati.
It’s not just the head wobble. I’m fine with the head wobble. I semi-deciphered that in India five years ago. I’m fine with the fact that a lot of conversations seem to emerge, as noted just above, in circular riddles where I’m left wondering what my question even was. No, these are okay. I’m pretty comfortable with uncertainty and I actually make a good living from others’ relative lack of clarity.
But Kandy? Kandy is special. We can’t seem to find anything here. Seriously. I’m sure this is a post I’ll look back on in a few weeks with a shudder and sense of self loathing for my ignorance. I have about 2 years’ worth of emails home from Turkey that I now can’t bear to look at because I got everything so startlingly wrong.
Here, I’m not baffled so much by language or culture but by geography. By maps. By locations. Or rather, by the lack of locations where we had thought they would be. I’m starting to think that we’re in an episode of Fringe and that all of our maps, all of our information is for the other universe. You know, the one we could access if only we had that molecule-upsetting gizmo.
For example, yesterday we trekked over to the Udawattakelle wildlife sanctuary (aka a big old forest full of monkeys and trees and whatnot). On the big sign at the entrance, it noted two caves, a cemetery and a lookout point within. Just follow the gravel path or any of the sign posted trails. Which we did. We followed the first cave trail to a fork and took first the low road (to an overgrown dead end) then took the high road (again, to no avail) then emerged back on the gravel road hoping to find the second cave.
There was a sign! A sign that point to the cave. It said so in Sinhalese, English and Tamil. Or at least in English. Maybe the other two read “Please don’t tell the tourists that this trail goes nowhere! And kindly do not giggle when they return muddy and defeated!”. The trail for the second cave (and by extension, the lookout point) ended in an enormous fallen tree and mud-slid hill that we had to clamber over t refind the trail.
I should mention here that it was at this point, partly up a mud slick hill, clambering over a big dead fallen tree, that my face decided to bleed. Yes, a spontaneous but continuous flow of blood decided to trickle down my cheek, possibly from an accidentally scratched bug bite scab, and I could see it blorp up just at the bottom of my line of vision as I slid up the hillside. After all that, the trail ended suddenly in two sets of coiled razor wire and a bunch of sand bags. I might also add that at some point around that time, I also scraped my ankle on a root that I tripped on and didn’t notice it until I got back to the hotel and noticed that my sock, my pants cuff and my shoes were stained with a disturbing amount of my blood.
But no monkeys bit me! No rabies shots for this trip!
Anyway, we went off in search of some other things that were on the map and they all dead ended: some ended in a sudden residential bungalow, some in a large stand of trees. Nothing on the maps actually seemed to exist, at least not in our version of the universe.
And today– today we went out to do the temple circle, a collection of three Buddhist/Hindu temples about an hour by bajaj along mostly destroyed potholes (with just a hint of road for good measure. We had a map, we knew where to go. It was quite lovely- rice paddies, quiet, a pleasing monsoon rain. The bajaj dropped us off at the first temple and we walked the three or so kilometers to the second (a pleasant walk, also0 and then the three or so kilometers to the third. Or so we thought. Although we were following one road with no notable turnoffs, when we reached a small town after what we guessed was about 3 or 4km, we asked where we might find our third temple. Well, they said, pointing back the way we had come, it’s about 4km thattaway. Um, yeah.
And these were just the big disappearances of place.
I’m sure I’ll look back on this post in three weeks’ time and delete it, horrified by my naivete.
It does look quite tropical and lovely, if you can find anything, that is. You’ll probably go out for a walk and find that Doug and the hotel have slipped quietly into a geographic vortex and are now replaced by a brand new Starbucks. Really.
You know, I wouldn’t be surprised to find a vortex. Hell, I am fairly certain I’ll see Hector around here some day. It seems like just the place for a lake monster to dwell. Mind you, I have yet to see a Starbucks AT ALL which is kind of awesome (though I’d love a cappuccino right about now). How is Oz, if you’re really there 😉 ?
A three hour ride on a three wheeler to Kandy broke my back. And I couldn’t feel my butt no more. Of course it was a bad choice but I realized it much later. lol.
You should visit nureliya. 🙂 (if that’s how its spelt) Hope you’re having an awesome time. 🙂
We are going to Nure… however it’s spelled! After we leave Anuradhapura, we’re heading to Trinco, then down to Kandy again to go to the Hill Country. Not going by tuktuk there, certainly! I do like tuktuks for journeys of less than 3 hours though. I like the full bodied natural AC!
Train is the way to travel to kandy, there are slow,express or even A/C trains available and you get a beautiful view if your seating is on the right side(when going from colombo to kandy). NEVER take a tuk tuk for a ride that takes more than 15 minutes, it will break your back as well as your spirit 🙂 btw its Nuwara-Eliya 🙂
To find trains -> http://www.gic.gov.lk/gic/?option=com_findnearest&task=train
Beautiful. I’d love to visit Sri Lanka!
It is lovely! I came here with no strong expectations and in spite of the setbacks we have had here, I’m still really glad we came!
are u thinking of coming towards colombo? We have a Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf here 😀 how long will u be in SL for? sounds like u r having fun, inspite of everything. It’s Nuwara Eliya btw. Have u been to Galle side yet?
We are going to Galle tomorrow. We were in Colombo at the beginning of our one month trip and we will be there again at the end, one week from now. I quite liked it there. We have had a great time here- it has exceeded my expectations by far (and my expectations were high before I left).
PS Did I misspell Nuwara Eliya somewhere?
Actually Usha mispelled Nuwara Eliya, not you. It’s weather is little bit similar to Falls in North America. But No snows!!!
You should visit Southern Beaches and maybe do Scuba if you can dive.also, don’t forget to do some White Water kayaking or rafting. You will never forget the experince. Youtube if you want to see some.
Tuk Tuk are kind of a taxi casing a evil or someone in movies. Isn’t it? At least, you can burn some callories and free excersices for your full body.
Enjoy your Vacation!!!
We’ve spent the past week in Nuwara Eliya and it’s been a wonderful break from the heat. We had to really change our plans after Doug got seriously injured on the bus to Trincomalee (long story but it involved bad roads and a reckless, fast bus driver). We were going to go diving in Trinco but the doctor said he can’t do that unfortunately. We are going to Galle later today.
Gotta say, going by bus or train on some routes in SL beats most rollercoasters easy. If you manage to catch a glimpse of either during the rush hours, all the people hanging off the sides would be quite the sight.
Galle would be awesome. Have fun!! 🙂
Really enjoyed reading your blog @ work and was laughing out aloud!! Absolutely hilarious!! How unfortunate to read of the injuries to Doug. Do wish him well and hope he recovers soon. Hope someone reads this, with access to building roads in SL! Never realised they were this bad, until now! Wish you both well, do keep posting (more power to ur fingers!) and have a super time!
u shud hav taken good guidance!!(im not a tourist guide but a resident in kandy who hikes a lot!so maybe next tym wen u ar here i might help u to go for the most amazing places ever!!Kandy Rocks!!)
Your blog is awesomely great.Went back to read Sri Lanka cos we just got a carer for my 91 year old dad who comes from SL and I wanted to get a feel of the place.Thanks! It’s wonderful.I think I shall just go and get on a flight now.
Ruthi recently posted..I’m back….time to go again!
Sri Lanka is awesome! I only wish I could go back soon…